Day 63: Kindly Say No
“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” – Paulo Coelho
How many times have you said yes, when every part of you on the inside was saying no, maybe even screaming no, but you said yes anyway? I’ve run into this problem so much with other moms, especially those of us that volunteer quite a bit. I used to joke that I should start a group called VA-Volunteers Anonymous, like AA, but for volunteers. Get it? A 12 step program for over volunteering, or saying yes when we really want to say no. Saying yes, when we want to say no is a problem and it creates burn out, resentment and an air of whoa is me. Saying no or yes is really about being kind and loving to ourselves before others. It is about knowing ourselves and listening to our needs. Once we do that, we will know when to say yes and when to say no.
Kindness to Self:
Listening to yourself and honoring the messages within is the truest form of self-love and self-kindness. Through that self-love, kindness for others will be natural and authentic.
Kindness to Others:
Saying yes to others when in fact we want to say no, is not only a disservice to ourselves, but also to the other person. It fosters an internal warfare and resentment, a place where kindness cannot survive or flourish.
Kindness to Strangers:
Like everything else in life, with practice, comes strength and knowledge and eventually mastery. When we have mastered the art of saying no to the things that do not align with us, we will be able to say yes when appropriate and through that, spread kindness to all people.
Kindness to Our Planet:
Just be kind to the planet. Say Yes to conservation and No to waste.
Photo Courtesy of FreeImages.com and The Very Kind Kostya Kisleyko